Full Circle

I don't think I've shared this story with a lot of people. I thought it was just a story from three years ago... but another chapter has been added, so here's the updated version:

First you should know that I hate transitions. If I could, I would have been happy living in the same house my entire life (though I'm not quite sure that my parents would agree... :) ). The transition to Notre Dame was tough - although the hardest part was actually the anticipation, not the transition process itself. I had a lot of worry, but mostly fear of the unknown. Not an ideal situation for someone who likes to plan things. But with the strength of family, friends, and prayer, I got through it. And it led me to gain some confidence for some other big transitions - like studying abroad for a semester in Mexico.

Fast forward to my senior year of college. After realizing that a degree in Spanish and Theology may not offer the best job opportunities, I decided to pursue grad school. I was really hoping that I'd get to go to a school in California, so as to be closer to my family. However, the option came down to schools in Chicago, Illinois and Lubbock, Texas.

I remember sitting in the dining hall one Sunday morning my senior year at ND and realizing that I wasn't going home. The same worry and fear of the unknown came back to me. It overwhelmed me. Not knowing what else to do, I made my way over to the Grotto on Notre Dame's campus. Now the Grotto is a place of quiet and peaceful prayer. I went to pray... and although I would like to say it was a prayer for trust and patience in God's plan, it was more to yell at Him for not making it work out the way I wanted it to.

As I was walking over to the Grotto, I was looking down at the ground for fear of people seeing my tear-stained face. All of a sudden I heard a familiar voice say, "Hi Eileen!" It was my friend Leslie, passing by me on the sidewalk. She could tell something was wrong and stopped to talk. When I told her I was on the way to the Grotto, she accompanied me there. It wasn't on the way to where she was going, but she took the time to be with me in that moment. It's a moment I haven't forgotten, mainly because I realized it was God's way of telling me that He would send us people in our moment of need to accompany us in our journey to Him. The transition to Texas wasn't easy, but I always knew I wasn't alone as I moved on to the new place.

So this was the story, until the past few months. Once again it became clear that I was going to have an up-coming transition. I hesitated wanting to leave Texas because of my fear of the unknown, but I finally saw that it was in my best interest academically to do so. Once again, the choices came down to two: Arizona or Florida. There were a lot of reasons to like both schools, but I couldn't help but notice that Arizona was a lot closer to home than Florida. When I found out that Arizona didn't have money to offer, I was pretty sad. And then I talked to my twin sister. "Are you going to FSU?" she asked. "Yes," I replied. "I think that's where Leslie is getting her PhD!" My sister was right. In fact, Leslie's in the same department that I was accepted to. I lived with Leslie for the first month of my time here in Florida. She helped me with the transition - showing me our department building, the church, the grocery store, Target... all the important things. Now Leslie is in France researching for her dissertation. But I couldn't help but smile... or even marvel at God's intricate plan. Here I am, three years later, still afraid of the unknown, but with yet another reminder that God never leaves us, especially in our transitions.